Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
