I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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