I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize