Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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