his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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