I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize