Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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