honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
