Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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