i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
