So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
