Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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