I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize