Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
