i don't like sucking hair
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
