I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
