i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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