Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
