I think I am morally bankrupt
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
