I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
