I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
