Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize