I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
