There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
