id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
