My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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