Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
