I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
