Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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