frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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