She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
