I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
