There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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