Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
