perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
