I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
