i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Randomize
