Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
