you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
