They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
