Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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