Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
