Umm I'm too high to move.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
