Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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