You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
