And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
