you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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