He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
