I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
