And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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