I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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