Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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