I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
