worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
