we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
