He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
