He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
