Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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