weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
