what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
