you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
My dad is sitting where you rode me
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
