Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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