Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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