Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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