this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
