Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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