Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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