if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
