I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
