Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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