How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
