What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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