That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
