He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Randomize
